Hagakure's Happy Birthday
by Joanie Dark
Summary: Oh hot damn, everyone's favourite twenty something is having a birthday! And he's inviting everyone out for a happy happy birthday party in the woods! ...Oh jesus christ these people shouldn't go camping. (If you like a ship leave a comment I'll try to work it in for you. General warnings for basically everything short of porn and death. That's a different fic.)


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"Gyuudon, tonjiru, seikai!"

"BANANA!"

"Kozukuri, nizukuri, seikai!"

"BANANA!"

The beautiful sounds of nonsensical rap drifted through the air to the first arrival of guests to Hagakure's fantabulous birthday bash, much to the mild bewilderment of the boy in the passenger seat of the crowded silver car that was weaving between trees and rocks. Makoto Naegi didn't really know what he was to expect from a large-scale birthday, much less one as isolated and adult as this particular one, but he certainly didn't think that he was going to be serenaded by Orange Range loving forest spirits.

He put his head out of the rolled down window as much to hear better the singing as to get away from the grumblings on one car owner and driver Byakuya Togami, who found the idea of so much mud getting on his car to be distasteful. He sort of wished he had sat in the back with Kyouko, but that would have meant dealing with sitting with the other Enterprise Club member...or more likely, her sister.

It had been a while since the Notebook Incident in May, but people were still noticeably a bit on edge with Junko. She was nice enough, sure, but no one really knew what evil may be lurking in the heart of such a strange and peculiar girl.

Haha, as if! No, she was fine. He just was happy he got the extra leg room.

When they finally pulled up to the campsite, an unfamiliar girl trotted over to the car, beaming bright enough Makoto swore he heard Byakuya mutter something about going blind. She stopped by the door, bouncing on her toes a bit.

"Oh, you must be some of Yasuhiro's classmates!" the girl chirped, her ponytail of badly-bleached dreadlocks flipping behind her with her excited bouncing. "You're the first ones here, just so you know!"

"Byakuya made it clear if we wanted a ride we had to be ready to go immediately after club meetings," Makoto said sheepishly, getting out of the car and stretching his legs. He would have preferred not having to lug his weekend bag to chess club, but Kyouko had made it just as clear that they were going to go in the Togamimobile, no questions asked. He suspected she was wanting to keep an eye on Junko as well, knowing there was no way the girl wasn't going to tag along with her sister on the ride, but he preferred to keep positive and not think such accusatory thoughts. She obviously just wanted an early start, and knew that she'd be able to get the space in the car since The Gangsters opted out of the sweet ride.

Obviously.

"Awww man, my heels are stuck!"

"Junko, I told you not to wear heels camping..."

"Beauty over practicality," Junko said, straightening her bulging shirt and pulling her left foot out of the mud. Mukuro followed her out of the car, shaking her head and smiling.

"I think I'm proof you can be cute and practical," she said, doing a little turn to show off her camo shorts and tee ensemble. It was still far too obviously fashion over function, in all fairness, but at least there was something resembling tread on the bottom of her boots. That's what she told herself, at least.

Kyouko, were she not mature as she was, would have rolled her eyes at the twins. Instead, she walked over to the new woman to shake her hand.

"Hi, I'm Kirigiri Kyouko. I'm guessing you're the mystery girlfriend we've heard Hagakure talk about?"

"Hah, yeah. My name's Watanabe Yuki. Feel free to just call me Yuki."

"That's about as generic a name as one can possibly have," Byakuya whispered to Makoto as he grabbed his bag out of the car. "It's almost like she's an original character in a fanfic."

"You've been talking to Touko too much," Makoto laughed, picking up the twins' bags and handing them off. The woman had trotted back off to a large cabin on the site where presumably she and Hagakure were setting up something or another, and Kyouko turned back to the group.

"She seems nice. She lives in a vegan co-op," Kyouko said, nodding as she took her bag off Byakuya's hands.

"Could you tell that with your detective skills?" Makoto asked.

"No, Neggie. She just told me." There wasn't a hint of amusement on her face. After an uncomfortable pause, she turned to the twins.

"You said you have spare room in your tent, Mukuro?"

"Yeah, our family used to go camping a lot. We could probably fit another three or four in as well as you." With nods all around, the girls went off to pitch their oversized tent close to the firepit. Makoto shifted nervously.

"I...I heard you had spare space?" he asked Byakuya, whose frown distinctly criticized the other boy's lack of preparation.

"I suppose I could fit someone else in. You'd best not snore."

"I don-"

"I do enough for both of us."

"O-oh..."

* * *

Another car slowly pulled up, idling but not stopping. There were muffled words from within the black-tinted windows before an adult woman came out of the front seat, going round to the back of the car to open the trunk. The back door opened, and Hifumi popped out, offering his hand for the dainty, pale claw that grabbed it. As Celestia stood, tipping her head and smiling in acknowledgement that Hifumi simply ate up, Byakuya noticeably turned away from the scene.

The two walked over to the group, beaming.

"Good to see we didn't arrive too early," Celestia chirped, then turned to look at Hifumi. "Fetch the bags, piggie!"

"Yes ma'am!" he said before scampering off, and she giggled.

"He's the most well behaved boy," she said, glancing towards Byakuya and frowning slightly. "Have you all been here long?"

"Only long enough to put up Camp Feminism," Junko said with a grin as she popped the last pole of the Enoshimas' huge tent into place.

"Ah, not too long then," she said cheerily. "Oh Hifumi! Don't forget to set up the generator along with the tent!" she called out. "I'd hate if we missed anything too exciting."

* * *

The conversation was interrupted by the loud rumble of a motorcycle rushing into the campground. No one had to look up to know that Mondo had just torn in (haphazardly and without a helmet, again, Kiyotaka would have pointed out), but it was the squealing laugh that came through after the engine cut off that people looked up for. An incredibly giddy Chihiro was clinging to Mondo's waist, little tufts of brown hair poking out under her pink bicycle helmet (a tad better, Kiyotaka would have grumbled)

"Oh my god, that was amazing!" she squealed, squeezing Mondo before jumping off of the bike and running over to jump on a log by the fire pit. "Hehe, this weekend's gonna be perfect!"

"Yup!" Mondo kicked the stand for his bike down and started detaching his bags from the side of the bike. "I'll warn you though, I've seen brother's tent before, and the three of us are gonna be a really fucking tight squeeze."

"Chihiro can stay with us in the girl's group tent if she wants," Junko said. The camp went quiet for a moment.

"You sure about that?" Chihiro said after a moment, eyeing the pigtailed girl, who nodded emphatically. A moment's pause, and then the young programmer's face melted into a huge grin and she jumped up to hug the other girl.

"Aww, this'll be great!" she said, wrapping her other arm around Mukuro as she came out of the tent.

Mondo just stood, contemplating the concept of a small tent with brother for the weekend. Alone.

* * *

A car door slammed, and Makoto looked up to see that his similarly-protagonistic friend Hajime had just arrived. And with two girls on his arms, too. Good job, Hinata.

Wait, did I really just think that?

The cool sauntering almost instantly broke down when it became very apparent that he was bickering with Mahiru and that Chiaki was utterly ignoring everyone involved in the debacle, not to mention the smirky blonde dancer who popped out of the back looked like she was ready to make the argument worse.

Hajime waved them off as he got into the circle.

"God I swear, I'm telling dad not to let you back in the car on Sunday if you keep this up," he said, rolling his eyes. "I just thank Christ my tent is a solo, because if I had to spend the night with you…"  
"As if you would ever get a girl to sleep with you," Chiaki said before anyone else could make a sound, and both Mahiru and Hiyoko looked at her in awe. She glanced up, meeting Hajime's eyes and smiling, giving the tiniest wiggle of her brows.

* * *

"Hey, Hiyoko," Kyouko asked, glancing over at the girl, "you don't actually live close to the others, do you? Why did you trek all the way over there in order to get a ride here?" The dancer tented her fingers and smiled, a little blush rising on her face.

"I slept over at Mahiru's last night, obviously. I left all my stuff for the weekend at big sister's this morning, and just went back home with her. We got to test out my new double sleeping bag."

"That sounds like it was really fun!"

Hajime practically screeched when he saw Nagito right. Bloody. Next. To him.

When the hell did he even get there.

* * *

Almost as obvious as when Mondo came was the beautiful, purring rumble combined with disgustingly sweet acoustic shit blaring out of the bright kit car driving smoothly across the road. Kazuichi. Oh, Kazuichi, you sentimental bastard.

He looked more distraught than usual as he got out of the driver's seat and pushed it down so Sonia could get out, whilst Gundam opened the passenger side door. It wasn't meant to be this way, his eyes said. Why me. Why always me.

As soon as she was out he walked over to Hajime, and the two shared a listless high five.

"Sup man."

"Fuck, I was supposed to be driving the princess here, maybe impress her a little, get my mack on, and she invited him. She goes and sits in the back like I'm a cabbie and I'm stuck with him in a sports car his tall ass barely fits in. I swear, his hand was almost on mine on the gear shift."

"Rough, man."

Sonia started to walk by with her sleeping bag on her back, and Kazuichi perked up.

"Hey," he started, "by the way, Sonia, I noticed you didn't have in your lovely little bag there any sort of tent. I'd imagine it's not the kinda thing you'd bring since you're not living here long, so I've brought..."

"Oh! The girls actually invited me to join their tent!" Sonia said cheerily, before instantly going off to lay her sleeping bag inside.

"a...two person…" Souda trailed off, hanging his head in disappointment. He was shocked out of it by a clap on the shoulder.

"I find myself in need of a place of respite, and you seem to find yourself in need of a tentmate," Gundam said.

Great.

* * *

By far one of the happiest arrivals came in the form of a nice, midrange, reasonably priced white car. Aoi had driven Sakura's vehicle straight from the dojo to Cafe Hanamura, where they picked up Teruteru, Touko, and approximately their weight in overly sweet cakes and snacks.

"We have enough munchies to carry us at least a few hours!" Teruteru said cheerily, waving a donut in front of Aoi's face to "hypnotize" her into the camp. The two giggled manically, as Sakura heaped bags onto her shoulders, shaking her head and laughing.

"Thanks again for the ride," Touko said, not wanting to lift her gaze from her boba tea.

"My dear Touko, it's a pleasure."

"...and for offering me a stay in your tent."

"Once again, it's fine. Though, seeing as Aoi drove and happens to own the tent, it's really her you should be thanking."

"Ah, right." She thought for a moment. "Teru, who are you staying with?"

"Oh, you know. I hope to bounce from tent to tent, spreading the love and dancing the night away."

* * *

By the time people noticed Peko and Fuyuhiko had dropped their bags and sat alongside some of the others, it was too late for people to really get a good look at the car that drove them away. Was it really a limo? God, whatever "totally non yakuza" activities the Kuzuryuu family was involved in, everyone in attendance thought for a moment they would totally sign up.

When people turned back from looking at the car disappear down the road, their tent was already up and the two were arranging duvets on what appeared to be a king size travel cot inside.

Those two...

* * *

"Hello! My name is Mrs. Kuwata, greetings how do you do?" the slender woman asked through a thick accent, and the two teens looked at each other with a mildly pained expression.

«Mom, it's okay, you don't need to make smalltalk,» Leon said, smiling at the others.

«Oh hush, Leo,» she chided, before going on. "I very glad meet you all." Some of the others mumbled responses and tried not to mention the woman's grammar. It seemed to be enough for the woman, who turned to her son and his girlfriend.

«Now, I'm a little concerned that you didn't say you'd need your own tent before we got here,» she started, lips pursed. «I'm not sure I can allow you to stay over if you're having to share a tent with your little girlfriend.»

«Mom, are you freakin' serious?»

«Mind your tone, young man,» she snapped. Suddenly, they heard someone clear their throat, and turned to see Peko standing next to them.

"Excuse me, but I heard you talking about tents? Peko asked, and

"Yes…?"

"Ah, my apologies, you seem confused." Peko gave a thin smile. "Ibuki promised to let me sleep in her tent. Your son is sleeping with my partner, I believe." She pointed over to Fuyuhiko, who was cursing at an attacking tent pole. Mrs. Kuwata smiled.

"Oh, that makes sense!" she said cheerily, patting her son on the back. «Right then, I have to get back home now if I want any chance of getting dinner on the table. Have fun, sweetie!»

As soon as the woman had driven off, Peko sighed and turned back to the sad state that was the tent.

"As if we're trading tents. Half my bag wouldn't be worth having packed."

* * *

A very conservative suburban car drove into the camp, hitting a large rock with a thud and a scream of "Shit!" Akane was instantly out of the car, staring in abject horror at the dent on the bumper.

"Oh man, oh man, Uncle Nidai's going to kill me…" she whined before being picked up from behind. Nekomaru rocked his cousin in beefy arms like she was a puppy.

"There there, I'm sure the car isn't that broken…" he said, glancing at Mikan who was starting to look the metal over with concern on her face.

"Well, I've seen more damaged people in the nurse's office," she said, shooting a glare across camp to Nagito before motioning Kazuichi away from his seemingly despair-inducing attempts to break into Sonia and Gundam's conversation. "Hey, Pinkie, do you think the patient is out of commission?"

Akane gave a wolf-like wail of distress.

With a little groan, Kazuichi trotted back over to the car. Giving it a quick once over, he laughed.

"I can pull that out with a suction cup. Actually got one in the trunk, let me go fetch."

* * *

Finally, one last car pulled up, and out jumped Kiyotaka Ishimaru. He very quickly threw an oversized hiking pack on his back, leaned in both of the front seat windows to kiss his parents, and ran over to the circle.

"Right,Yasuhiro, I'm here, we can start setting..." Kiyotaka went pale, starting to quake in his dorky khaki shorts.

"I'm...I'm the last one here, aren't I?"


End file.
